"new state rules to regulate abortion clinics like hospitals."
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/virginia-politics/post/virginia-gov-mcdonnell-signs-stricter-abortion-clinic-rules/2011/12/29/gIQAn1BDPP_blog.html
should women's "healthcare" be substandard to a hospital?
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Joseph, obedient protector of our Lord, pray for the unborn
GospelMt 2:13-18
When the magi had departed, behold,
the angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said,
"Rise, take the child and his mother, flee to Egypt,
and stay there until I tell you.
Herod is going to search for the child to destroy him."
Joseph rose and took the child and his mother by night
and departed for Egypt.
He stayed there until the death of Herod,
that what the Lord had said through the prophet might be fulfilled,
Out of Egypt I called my son.
When Herod realized that he had been deceived by the magi,
he became furious.
He ordered the massacre of all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity
two years old and under,
in accordance with the time he had ascertained from the magi.
Then was fulfilled what had been said through Jeremiah the prophet:
A voice was heard in Ramah,
sobbing and loud lamentation;
Rachel weeping for her children,
and she would not be consoled,
since they were no more.
http://www.usccb.org/bible/readings/122811.cfm
the angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream and said,
"Rise, take the child and his mother, flee to Egypt,
and stay there until I tell you.
Herod is going to search for the child to destroy him."
Joseph rose and took the child and his mother by night
and departed for Egypt.
He stayed there until the death of Herod,
that what the Lord had said through the prophet might be fulfilled,
Out of Egypt I called my son.
When Herod realized that he had been deceived by the magi,
he became furious.
He ordered the massacre of all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity
two years old and under,
in accordance with the time he had ascertained from the magi.
Then was fulfilled what had been said through Jeremiah the prophet:
A voice was heard in Ramah,
sobbing and loud lamentation;
Rachel weeping for her children,
and she would not be consoled,
since they were no more.
http://www.usccb.org/bible/readings/122811.cfm
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Get out of the combox and help someone!
I spend some time in the comboxes on YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/user/JaneRoe1984 My channel (much like this blog) is designed to increase awareness, education and speak out against what is a terrible choice - to kill our unborn children.
I do this for a couple of reasons:
I think it's important to enter the discussion where the discussion is happening. On YouTube it seems to be happening pretty frankly. I want to be sure that my voice as a post-abortive woman is heard. So many claim to be speaking on behalf of women, I can speak for myself and my experience, thank you very much.
There are Pro-Abortion people who actually encourage abortion for a number of reasons. I have seen the reasons ranging from socio-economic to the equivalent of "mercy killings". These people cannot be allowed to dominate the com-boxes, there must be an alternative point of view.
Commenting on YouTube Videos makes them more visible. Increasing visibility to what is the scourge of abortion, hopefully increases awareness, educates people and leads to fewer making the choice to abort.
There are well-meaning Christians who think that they can "win" converts via argument in these comboxes. I find their futile attempts to win souls via argument a distraction from the discussion of abortion. I am a Christian woman, but I have never seen anyone converted because they lost an argument. To win souls for Christ, we must love.
Which brings me to the topic of they day. In the combox of The 180 Movie today, I read a comment: "Sooo....out of curiosity....what do you all do outside of youtube for this cause? O.o"
Loved this comment! It's so true. I've been thinking about how to be more active in the Pro-Life movement for a long time. I'm finally going to take some advice from someone I love very much who thought a Crisis Pregnancy Center would be a good place for me to make a difference. While I have supported local Crisis Pregnancy Centers financially and with gifts, I am ready now to begin making more of time investment. So I'm making an appointment to discuss volunteer opportunities and I'm looking forward to joining the mission field!
http://www.youtube.com/user/JaneRoe1984 My channel (much like this blog) is designed to increase awareness, education and speak out against what is a terrible choice - to kill our unborn children.
I do this for a couple of reasons:
I think it's important to enter the discussion where the discussion is happening. On YouTube it seems to be happening pretty frankly. I want to be sure that my voice as a post-abortive woman is heard. So many claim to be speaking on behalf of women, I can speak for myself and my experience, thank you very much.
There are Pro-Abortion people who actually encourage abortion for a number of reasons. I have seen the reasons ranging from socio-economic to the equivalent of "mercy killings". These people cannot be allowed to dominate the com-boxes, there must be an alternative point of view.
Commenting on YouTube Videos makes them more visible. Increasing visibility to what is the scourge of abortion, hopefully increases awareness, educates people and leads to fewer making the choice to abort.
There are well-meaning Christians who think that they can "win" converts via argument in these comboxes. I find their futile attempts to win souls via argument a distraction from the discussion of abortion. I am a Christian woman, but I have never seen anyone converted because they lost an argument. To win souls for Christ, we must love.
Which brings me to the topic of they day. In the combox of The 180 Movie today, I read a comment: "Sooo....out of curiosity....what do you all do outside of youtube for this cause? O.o"
Loved this comment! It's so true. I've been thinking about how to be more active in the Pro-Life movement for a long time. I'm finally going to take some advice from someone I love very much who thought a Crisis Pregnancy Center would be a good place for me to make a difference. While I have supported local Crisis Pregnancy Centers financially and with gifts, I am ready now to begin making more of time investment. So I'm making an appointment to discuss volunteer opportunities and I'm looking forward to joining the mission field!
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Monday, December 19, 2011
You can't possibly be a thinking person, if you don't think like me.
I see this kind of arrogance all the time in the comboxes and on Facebook. It's really quite maddening. I'm trying to take a step back right now and make sure that I am not falling into the same camp. I think it's important to speak our views, even critical on issues such as abortion where there is a definable victim.
But I resent the implication from opposing view points that I am just a "lemming" because my education and experience has led me to a different conclusion. The part that is so offensive is the idea that I have come to the conclusions I have with absolutely no thought, contemplation or study. That to think something so "stupid" I must just be following along with the ignorant masses, while the more "educated and thoughtful" intellectuals have it all figured out.
Well, I have studied, I have reviewed the facts and I have a little experience in this life which have led me to some conclusions that I am quite comfortable with. I respect the journey of others and understand that as time, education and experience reveal certain truths in peoples lives, their viewpoint may or may not change as a result.
The bottom line is respecting the others journey. Respecting that as human beings, we all struggle through life and try to make sense of a world that often does not make sense.
But I resent the implication from opposing view points that I am just a "lemming" because my education and experience has led me to a different conclusion. The part that is so offensive is the idea that I have come to the conclusions I have with absolutely no thought, contemplation or study. That to think something so "stupid" I must just be following along with the ignorant masses, while the more "educated and thoughtful" intellectuals have it all figured out.
Well, I have studied, I have reviewed the facts and I have a little experience in this life which have led me to some conclusions that I am quite comfortable with. I respect the journey of others and understand that as time, education and experience reveal certain truths in peoples lives, their viewpoint may or may not change as a result.
The bottom line is respecting the others journey. Respecting that as human beings, we all struggle through life and try to make sense of a world that often does not make sense.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Regret
I would like to thank Silent No More Awareness for giving those who regret their abortion experience a voice. If you go to http://www.silentnomoreawareness.org/testimonies/index.aspx you will find 1430 stories of regret and sorrow.
This post is about regret and how it worked for me. I aborted my baby in 1984 when I was 17. I was very mechanical about it and quite frankly the only regret I felt was during the actual procedure. I actually felt the life of my child leave my body and I cried out. The abortionist ordered me to "stop crying, it's too late now." So I did. I stopped crying for a long time.
In fact, the regret started finding it's way into my heart when I became pregnant with my son a couple of years later. First in how I was told I was pregnant. I went to the clinic for a pregnancy test and although it was an unplanned pregnancy, I was married. When the nurse gave me the news, she said "it's positive and if you want to take care of it you'll have to go elsewhere we don't do that here." And not in a private room, but in a waiting room filled with people!
I was pretty angry and I felt accused. But, I remember thinking in my head absolutely not! I will never abort another child! This was when the regret started trickling in. But as I had these feelings, I tried to stuff them back in. "Stop crying! It's too late now."
We didn't have the internet then, so I went to the library. I wanted to find a book with pictures so I could see what my baby looked like as he grew in my womb. All I could find was a children's book. I checked it out and took it home. As I looked at the pictures, I remember thinking "how could I have done that?" Had I really never seen the picture of a baby in the womb? I thought I had but I couldn't remember. More stuffing, "Stop crying! It's too late now."
As this child grew inside of me, so did regret for the child I killed just a few years before. And when they placed him in my arms, I knew what I did was terribly, terribly wrong.
After my son was born, I became overwhelmed with guilt and shame and didn't know what to do or where to go. So, I went to a Catholic Church. There wasn't a priest available but a sister spoke with me. She wasn't particularly gentle with me and I found no comfort there. She said, "God has already forgiven you, what right do you have not to forgive yourself?" Since God was only a vague concept in my head and heart at the time, this just piled the guilt on. I felt I didn't really have a right to these feelings, because I had made my "choice" so this was my consequence. "Stop crying! it's too late now." So I stuffed the feelings back in again and went on.
Even though the regret was coming in waves, I would have still considered myself "pro-choice" if you would have asked me during this time and probably through most of my twenties. I took the stance that abortion should remain legal, but women just had to be educated about it. Of course, I did nothing to advance that idea, I just had the idea.
The point of all this is, the regret wasn't immediate for me. It took time and came in waves as my experience and education revealed to me how wrong that "choice" was to make. The reason this is important to know is that some women who have had an abortion may not regret it at all - for a while. They may even be struggling with regret internally while presenting a completely different external impression.
It wasn't until 20 years after aborting my baby that I found some peace and relief at http://www.rachelsvineyard.org/ and I highly recommend this retreat to anyone, man or woman, who is experiencing regret and pain for choosing abortion. The regret and loss never goes away, but it is possible to make peace with yourself, with your baby and with God.
This post is about regret and how it worked for me. I aborted my baby in 1984 when I was 17. I was very mechanical about it and quite frankly the only regret I felt was during the actual procedure. I actually felt the life of my child leave my body and I cried out. The abortionist ordered me to "stop crying, it's too late now." So I did. I stopped crying for a long time.
In fact, the regret started finding it's way into my heart when I became pregnant with my son a couple of years later. First in how I was told I was pregnant. I went to the clinic for a pregnancy test and although it was an unplanned pregnancy, I was married. When the nurse gave me the news, she said "it's positive and if you want to take care of it you'll have to go elsewhere we don't do that here." And not in a private room, but in a waiting room filled with people!
I was pretty angry and I felt accused. But, I remember thinking in my head absolutely not! I will never abort another child! This was when the regret started trickling in. But as I had these feelings, I tried to stuff them back in. "Stop crying! It's too late now."
We didn't have the internet then, so I went to the library. I wanted to find a book with pictures so I could see what my baby looked like as he grew in my womb. All I could find was a children's book. I checked it out and took it home. As I looked at the pictures, I remember thinking "how could I have done that?" Had I really never seen the picture of a baby in the womb? I thought I had but I couldn't remember. More stuffing, "Stop crying! It's too late now."
As this child grew inside of me, so did regret for the child I killed just a few years before. And when they placed him in my arms, I knew what I did was terribly, terribly wrong.
After my son was born, I became overwhelmed with guilt and shame and didn't know what to do or where to go. So, I went to a Catholic Church. There wasn't a priest available but a sister spoke with me. She wasn't particularly gentle with me and I found no comfort there. She said, "God has already forgiven you, what right do you have not to forgive yourself?" Since God was only a vague concept in my head and heart at the time, this just piled the guilt on. I felt I didn't really have a right to these feelings, because I had made my "choice" so this was my consequence. "Stop crying! it's too late now." So I stuffed the feelings back in again and went on.
Even though the regret was coming in waves, I would have still considered myself "pro-choice" if you would have asked me during this time and probably through most of my twenties. I took the stance that abortion should remain legal, but women just had to be educated about it. Of course, I did nothing to advance that idea, I just had the idea.
The point of all this is, the regret wasn't immediate for me. It took time and came in waves as my experience and education revealed to me how wrong that "choice" was to make. The reason this is important to know is that some women who have had an abortion may not regret it at all - for a while. They may even be struggling with regret internally while presenting a completely different external impression.
It wasn't until 20 years after aborting my baby that I found some peace and relief at http://www.rachelsvineyard.org/ and I highly recommend this retreat to anyone, man or woman, who is experiencing regret and pain for choosing abortion. The regret and loss never goes away, but it is possible to make peace with yourself, with your baby and with God.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Thomas Merton: Essential Writings
I am reading this book and this passage just struck me, so I will put it here:
"It is not really my business to speak out about it, but since there is such a frightful apathy and passivity everywhere, with people simply unable to face the issue squarely, and with only a stray voice raised tentatively here and there, it has become an urgent obligation."
Thomas Merton wrote this in 1961, his topic was "international crisis". My topic which I think it transcends, is abortion. He goes on to say:
"Prayer of course remains my chief means, but it is also an obligation on my part to speak out insofar as I am able, and to speak as clearly, as forthrightly and as uncompromisingly as I can. A lot of people are not going to like this and it may mean my head, so do please pray for me in a very special way, because I cannot in conscience willingly betray the truth or let it be betrayed. The issue is too serious. This is purely and simply the crucifixion over again."
Thomas Merton, pray for us! Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on us!
"It is not really my business to speak out about it, but since there is such a frightful apathy and passivity everywhere, with people simply unable to face the issue squarely, and with only a stray voice raised tentatively here and there, it has become an urgent obligation."
Thomas Merton wrote this in 1961, his topic was "international crisis". My topic which I think it transcends, is abortion. He goes on to say:
"Prayer of course remains my chief means, but it is also an obligation on my part to speak out insofar as I am able, and to speak as clearly, as forthrightly and as uncompromisingly as I can. A lot of people are not going to like this and it may mean my head, so do please pray for me in a very special way, because I cannot in conscience willingly betray the truth or let it be betrayed. The issue is too serious. This is purely and simply the crucifixion over again."
Thomas Merton, pray for us! Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on us!
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
This shouldn't interfere with "Safe, Legal & Most Importantly RARE"
Check out this recent article about "The Prenatal Nondiscrimination Act"
http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/bill-would-ban-abortions-based-on-sex-race-critics-call-it-ploy-to-undermine-broader-rights/2011/12/06/gIQASUEQaO_story.html
This shouldn't interfere with "Safe, Legal and Rare", isn't that how our Pro-Abortion President sold us his view of abortion? I must admit, I don't know how this law would possibly be enforced since it seems that abortion clinics have abysmal oversight. Why don't we hear any outrage over Kermit Gosnell's Philadelphia clinic of horror and his targeting of women of color?
Nevertheless, I hope it passes, and I hope it DOES drive a wedge between women of color and the Pro-Abortion community since their babies and their wombs have been targets, since Margaret Sanger. http://www.blackgenocide.org/sanger.html
Why won't anyone dare to ask why:
Black women are more than 4.8 times more likely than non-Hispanic white women to have an abortion, and Hispanic women are 2.7 times as likely (AGI).
http://www.abort73.com/abortion_facts/us_abortion_statistics/
http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/bill-would-ban-abortions-based-on-sex-race-critics-call-it-ploy-to-undermine-broader-rights/2011/12/06/gIQASUEQaO_story.html
This shouldn't interfere with "Safe, Legal and Rare", isn't that how our Pro-Abortion President sold us his view of abortion? I must admit, I don't know how this law would possibly be enforced since it seems that abortion clinics have abysmal oversight. Why don't we hear any outrage over Kermit Gosnell's Philadelphia clinic of horror and his targeting of women of color?
Nevertheless, I hope it passes, and I hope it DOES drive a wedge between women of color and the Pro-Abortion community since their babies and their wombs have been targets, since Margaret Sanger. http://www.blackgenocide.org/sanger.html
Why won't anyone dare to ask why:
Black women are more than 4.8 times more likely than non-Hispanic white women to have an abortion, and Hispanic women are 2.7 times as likely (AGI).
http://www.abort73.com/abortion_facts/us_abortion_statistics/
The Lie that Leads to Killing
"I'm a good person", that's how it starts. The belief that I'm a good person and that I don't need God to be a good person. And then I justify how I'm loving to the people around me, honest, loyal and all of my wonderful qualities that add up to "a good person".
I slip just a little now and then, but who doesn't? Then I start comparing myself to others worse than me, and I justify well at least I'm not as bad as that! At least I'm not stealing, at least I'm not abusing my children, at least I care about people, at least, at least, at least...and I drop the bar lower and lower.
So then I don't feel so bad when I use sex as recreation. I've done all of the pre-work in my head to ensure that my personal enjoyment and fulfillment is deserved! After all, I'm a good person and I'm not as bad as that one. Until I have conceived an "inconvenient" baby, and now all that justification, I'm a good person, I'm a good person, I'm a good person, all the way to the abortionist. An innocent life is taken, I'm a killer.
There is an alternative. Instead of setting the bar so low and comparing myself to others worse than me, I can raise the bar and strive to be as good as the really good people, the ones that set a very good example for living a truly good and loving life. What does that look like? Well I can tell you it doesn't look like just about anything you'll see on TV or in the cultural media.
The "Holy Women"who have walked this earth before us can show us the way. Their life may at first glance not look as glamorous as the lives of those portrayed on the big screen, but these Holy Women have found fulfillment, joy and eternal reward in all walks and capacities of life.
http://www.amazon.com/Holy-Women-Pope-Benedict-XVI/dp/1612785107/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1323173825&sr=1-1
The Holy Women lead us to God. And God reveals for us His plan for our happiness. His plan is not a life of restriction, no fun, live in the doldrums while everyone else is at the party. His plan is a life of freedom and true choice, with clear, wide open eyes of love!
I slip just a little now and then, but who doesn't? Then I start comparing myself to others worse than me, and I justify well at least I'm not as bad as that! At least I'm not stealing, at least I'm not abusing my children, at least I care about people, at least, at least, at least...and I drop the bar lower and lower.
So then I don't feel so bad when I use sex as recreation. I've done all of the pre-work in my head to ensure that my personal enjoyment and fulfillment is deserved! After all, I'm a good person and I'm not as bad as that one. Until I have conceived an "inconvenient" baby, and now all that justification, I'm a good person, I'm a good person, I'm a good person, all the way to the abortionist. An innocent life is taken, I'm a killer.
There is an alternative. Instead of setting the bar so low and comparing myself to others worse than me, I can raise the bar and strive to be as good as the really good people, the ones that set a very good example for living a truly good and loving life. What does that look like? Well I can tell you it doesn't look like just about anything you'll see on TV or in the cultural media.
The "Holy Women"who have walked this earth before us can show us the way. Their life may at first glance not look as glamorous as the lives of those portrayed on the big screen, but these Holy Women have found fulfillment, joy and eternal reward in all walks and capacities of life.
http://www.amazon.com/Holy-Women-Pope-Benedict-XVI/dp/1612785107/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1323173825&sr=1-1
The Holy Women lead us to God. And God reveals for us His plan for our happiness. His plan is not a life of restriction, no fun, live in the doldrums while everyone else is at the party. His plan is a life of freedom and true choice, with clear, wide open eyes of love!
Monday, December 5, 2011
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
The Comments are Truly Frightening
http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/new-jersey-nurses-charge-religious-discrimination-over-hospital-abortion-policy/2011/11/15/gIQAydgm2N_story.html
just after my post this morning about how eye-opening the comment section on the 180 Movie is, this article came across my newsfeed. The comments are extraordinarily cruel.
These nurses should not have to participate in the killing of a baby, "You just have to catch the baby's head. Don't worry, it's already dead." are you kidding me? Putting any human being through this is so unbelievably cruel I can't hardly believe it! And the comment section attacking these brave nurses just has me in a total state of shock!
just after my post this morning about how eye-opening the comment section on the 180 Movie is, this article came across my newsfeed. The comments are extraordinarily cruel.
These nurses should not have to participate in the killing of a baby, "You just have to catch the baby's head. Don't worry, it's already dead." are you kidding me? Putting any human being through this is so unbelievably cruel I can't hardly believe it! And the comment section attacking these brave nurses just has me in a total state of shock!
Don't Like Abortion, Don't Have One, Problem Solved
If you want to see the debate on abortion in full tilt, head over to Youtube and check out the comments on the 180 Movie http://www.youtube.com/all_comments?v=7y2KsU_dhwI
It's actually quite eye opening. Abortion is not usually something discussed in polite company, and even if it is, people are cautious about expressing their views. In the comment section of the 180 Movie, under the cover of anonymity, people are free to express their true views.
It's hard to read sometimes. The willful ignorance of the facts that abortion is the killing of an innocent human being is one thing, however, the acceptance of it even after the fact is acknowledged is quite another. I find it actually quite frightening.
I wonder about the people engaging in this discussion. They are probably quite normal, like the people I know. Maybe I work with some of them, maybe they're my neighbors, maybe they go to Church with me.
How can it be that these perfectly normal people have come to the point where they can knowingly, accept and in some cases promote the killing of a human being in their mother's womb? This is the part that I cannot quite grasp, and the comment section of the 180 Movie doesn't quite explain it to me.
The comment "Don't Like Abortion, Don't Have One, Problem Solved" appeared today, presumably by someone defending abortion. How far can we take that in a morality discussion? Does society really have no say in the matter of human life and death and the protection of the innocents? This attitude of you don't get to tell me what to do is quite absurd if you take it to the murder of a birthed person, or the molestation of a child, or the robbing of a bank. "Don't like robbing a bank, don't rob one, problem solved." In other words, don't push your morality on me, even if my morality has a victim.
I do agree with the statement in a larger context. Until we change the hearts and minds of women seeking abortions, we cannot end abortion. So, to that degree we must keep on speaking out, educating and offering viable options. We must help the mother's facing a crisis pregnancy, so that more people "Don't Like Abortion". Problem Solved.
It's actually quite eye opening. Abortion is not usually something discussed in polite company, and even if it is, people are cautious about expressing their views. In the comment section of the 180 Movie, under the cover of anonymity, people are free to express their true views.
I wonder about the people engaging in this discussion. They are probably quite normal, like the people I know. Maybe I work with some of them, maybe they're my neighbors, maybe they go to Church with me.
How can it be that these perfectly normal people have come to the point where they can knowingly, accept and in some cases promote the killing of a human being in their mother's womb? This is the part that I cannot quite grasp, and the comment section of the 180 Movie doesn't quite explain it to me.
The comment "Don't Like Abortion, Don't Have One, Problem Solved" appeared today, presumably by someone defending abortion. How far can we take that in a morality discussion? Does society really have no say in the matter of human life and death and the protection of the innocents? This attitude of you don't get to tell me what to do is quite absurd if you take it to the murder of a birthed person, or the molestation of a child, or the robbing of a bank. "Don't like robbing a bank, don't rob one, problem solved." In other words, don't push your morality on me, even if my morality has a victim.
I do agree with the statement in a larger context. Until we change the hearts and minds of women seeking abortions, we cannot end abortion. So, to that degree we must keep on speaking out, educating and offering viable options. We must help the mother's facing a crisis pregnancy, so that more people "Don't Like Abortion". Problem Solved.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
It's All Relative
There is no moral high ground any more. Anyone who tries to take a moral high ground and actually say there is clearly a right and a wrong is vilified and painted as a prudish Puritan trying to set the clock back 100 years.
Without the clear and accepted right or wrong, we have the "I would never tell anyone what they should do" culture that is becoming more and more extreme. And quite frankly, the way it is playing out, people are getting hurt. A lot of people are getting hurt. And the people who are doing the hurting are justified by a society and a culture who says, "you have to decide for yourself what is right for you."
Well, as I said in an earlier post, I'm all for self-determination. But, when our desires and choices effect the lives and well-being of other human beings, doesn't our society need to stand up for the vulnerable and the victims?
In this past weeks news we see the tale of two colleges playing out. Penn State with it's child molestation scandal and the controversy of "Sex Week at Yale". If you don't know about Sex Week at Yale, freshman are given the opportunity to attend workshops on oral sex, porn stars promote their industry and masturbation contests are held. No one seems to dare to suggest there may be a connection between promoting sexual deviancy on the one hand, and the harm that comes from someone taking that deviancy to the extreme on the other hand.
It just seems a little absurd to me that in an anything goes culture, that anyone would be surprised about Sandusky's misconduct or dare I say appalled. And yet we are appalled, because we KNOW that children were hurt. So anything doesn't go, but who gets to draw the line?
Here's the parallel to abortion: In September, a Tennessee woman gave birth to twins and immediately killed them: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2011/09/15/national/main20106760.shtml
Why are we surprised and appalled by this when literally the day before, she could have had an abortion at a late term abortion clinic and it would have (in some states) been legal and ok. And we're not appalled by that. Really, what difference does a day make? And who drew that line?
That's the question that moral relativism leaves us with. Where to draw the line for you is different from mine, so how do we decide which one is right? In the meantime, children are literally being raped and killed.
Without the clear and accepted right or wrong, we have the "I would never tell anyone what they should do" culture that is becoming more and more extreme. And quite frankly, the way it is playing out, people are getting hurt. A lot of people are getting hurt. And the people who are doing the hurting are justified by a society and a culture who says, "you have to decide for yourself what is right for you."
Well, as I said in an earlier post, I'm all for self-determination. But, when our desires and choices effect the lives and well-being of other human beings, doesn't our society need to stand up for the vulnerable and the victims?
In this past weeks news we see the tale of two colleges playing out. Penn State with it's child molestation scandal and the controversy of "Sex Week at Yale". If you don't know about Sex Week at Yale, freshman are given the opportunity to attend workshops on oral sex, porn stars promote their industry and masturbation contests are held. No one seems to dare to suggest there may be a connection between promoting sexual deviancy on the one hand, and the harm that comes from someone taking that deviancy to the extreme on the other hand.
It just seems a little absurd to me that in an anything goes culture, that anyone would be surprised about Sandusky's misconduct or dare I say appalled. And yet we are appalled, because we KNOW that children were hurt. So anything doesn't go, but who gets to draw the line?
Here's the parallel to abortion: In September, a Tennessee woman gave birth to twins and immediately killed them: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2011/09/15/national/main20106760.shtml
Why are we surprised and appalled by this when literally the day before, she could have had an abortion at a late term abortion clinic and it would have (in some states) been legal and ok. And we're not appalled by that. Really, what difference does a day make? And who drew that line?
That's the question that moral relativism leaves us with. Where to draw the line for you is different from mine, so how do we decide which one is right? In the meantime, children are literally being raped and killed.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Is this "Pro-Choice"?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2061878/Assist-abortions-fired-Ultimatum-given-12-pro-life-nurses-hospital.html
Only England will report this travesty and violation of Federal and State Law, USA Today reports on "Migraines" apparently, choice is only for those on the side of killing.
Only England will report this travesty and violation of Federal and State Law, USA Today reports on "Migraines" apparently, choice is only for those on the side of killing.
The Arrangement of "Things"
In China or India, if a woman is pregnant with a girl baby, she is likely to abort and try again for a boy. With pre-natal birth defects test, a woman can decide that the child's life is not worth living (by her standard) or will be too inconvenient, or too expensive.
It seems that we have the ability to "arrange" our families in just the way we want, "arrange" our children in just the way we want. And for what? For our idea of "quality of life"? I submit as a fellow human being that life happens more than it is arranged. The more we try and arrange and modify the natural world to suit us, the more we will realize the futility of our efforts. For to be human means to experience: pain, joy, hardships, success, love, sorrow, fulfillment and loss. No one gets to escape their own humanity. No amount of "arrangement" of our situation will help us to outrun what it means to be human.
Our "arrangement" of things begins to push aside another human being for our own convenience, meaning, that human being will not improve the quality of my life, so I will kill him or her. Or, the idea that it is noble to say, I predict the future of this human being will be too difficult, so "mercifully" I will kill him or her. The weakest among us then, is defenseless in the assault upon their very life, and are eliminated from our midst, and the rest of us walk by the abortion clinics thinking "they are better off". Better off dead than trying to live a life that is too hard or too inconvenient by our "clairvoyant ability" to predict the future for them and for ourselves.
Now if we expand the "arrangement" of our families to the "arrangement" of our societies or states, then you have this very poignant comparison, take 33 minutes and watch this video:
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Down Syndrome - Eugenics
I read this article this morning written by Dr. Brian Skotko, see his impressive credentials below:
http://www.usatoday.com/news/opinion/forum/story/2011-11-14/blood-test-down-syndrome/51202078/1
The article seemed to be pointing potential parents of Down Syndrome babies to seeing the value in all human life. He cites examples of citizens with Down Syndrome (including his own sister) living meaningful lives, or I would say rather, makes the case that we should deem them worthy by our standards.
And then he says something that just floored me:
"Yet, as a physician, I am not in the business of telling expectant couples what pregnancy decisions they should be making when their fetus has Down syndrome. That is their decision."
This statement from a Doctor with these credentials rocked me to my core. If our Doctors think that killing a patient with a health issue, is a way of resolving the health issue, then we have some big problems in health care in our country.
This Doctor seems open to eugenics, which is "selective breeding". Where do we take this slippery slope to next, if a Doctor who specializes in Down Syndrome is "ok" with the termination of the life of a human being with Down Syndrome in the womb? Who is next to be deemed "unworthy" of life because they do not meet our personal definition of a life worth living?
So this is the crux of the abortion debate, who gets to decide if another persons life is worthy of living?
By the way, the test can detect Down Syndrome at 10 weeks, the baby in my profile picture is 9 weeks. Also, I read an un-related post by a 16 year-old girl who was encouraged to abort, I thought she said something pretty profound and I think it applies here: "An abortion doesn't make you 'un-pregnant' it makes you the mother of a dead baby."
Brian Skotko is a physician in the Down Syndrome Program at Children's Hospital Boston. He serves on the board of directors of the National Down Syndrome Society and the Massachusetts Down Syndrome Congress.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/opinion/forum/story/2011-11-14/blood-test-down-syndrome/51202078/1
The article seemed to be pointing potential parents of Down Syndrome babies to seeing the value in all human life. He cites examples of citizens with Down Syndrome (including his own sister) living meaningful lives, or I would say rather, makes the case that we should deem them worthy by our standards.
And then he says something that just floored me:
"Yet, as a physician, I am not in the business of telling expectant couples what pregnancy decisions they should be making when their fetus has Down syndrome. That is their decision."
This statement from a Doctor with these credentials rocked me to my core. If our Doctors think that killing a patient with a health issue, is a way of resolving the health issue, then we have some big problems in health care in our country.
This Doctor seems open to eugenics, which is "selective breeding". Where do we take this slippery slope to next, if a Doctor who specializes in Down Syndrome is "ok" with the termination of the life of a human being with Down Syndrome in the womb? Who is next to be deemed "unworthy" of life because they do not meet our personal definition of a life worth living?
So this is the crux of the abortion debate, who gets to decide if another persons life is worthy of living?
By the way, the test can detect Down Syndrome at 10 weeks, the baby in my profile picture is 9 weeks. Also, I read an un-related post by a 16 year-old girl who was encouraged to abort, I thought she said something pretty profound and I think it applies here: "An abortion doesn't make you 'un-pregnant' it makes you the mother of a dead baby."
Brian Skotko is a physician in the Down Syndrome Program at Children's Hospital Boston. He serves on the board of directors of the National Down Syndrome Society and the Massachusetts Down Syndrome Congress.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Jane Roe #15,938,000
In 1973, the Supreme Court decision in the famous Roe v. Wade case opened the doors to abortion on demand in the United States. Since that time an average of 1.2 million babies have been aborted every single year in our country. My baby was one of this number in 1984. In my estimation, my baby was number 15,938,000 - hence my pen name.
Also in the larger number of almost 50,000,000 babies aborted up to now is a siblings child, and my grandchild. Those are the ones I know of, I'm sure there are more and it breaks my heart.
The interesting story of the real Jane Roe, Norma McCorvey can be found here: http://roenomore.org/
It seems that Norma was duped by two young lawyers who needed a pregnant woman to be the face of their suit and advance their pro-abortion agenda. Norma worked in an abortion clinic for years after Roe v. Wade, but has since become "100% Pro-Life". I'm happy that her heart has turned and I pray that others who lead women down this path of death and destruction will also turn their heart towards protecting life and protecting women from this tragedy.
Also in the larger number of almost 50,000,000 babies aborted up to now is a siblings child, and my grandchild. Those are the ones I know of, I'm sure there are more and it breaks my heart.
The interesting story of the real Jane Roe, Norma McCorvey can be found here: http://roenomore.org/
It seems that Norma was duped by two young lawyers who needed a pregnant woman to be the face of their suit and advance their pro-abortion agenda. Norma worked in an abortion clinic for years after Roe v. Wade, but has since become "100% Pro-Life". I'm happy that her heart has turned and I pray that others who lead women down this path of death and destruction will also turn their heart towards protecting life and protecting women from this tragedy.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Destroying Human Life: An Economic Policy
It is tempting I guess for some to make the assumption that every child from an unplanned pregnancy will end up on state welfare. And maybe it's tempting to believe that there isn't enough for all of us anyway. I have had a co-worker say to me in regards to abortion "you can't have it both ways" meaning, the fact that I am pro-life contradicts his assumption that I am "anti-welfare".
But I don't believe that the case is that every child from an unplanned pregnancy will end up on state welfare. Nearly the first child born to every extended member of my family that I know of were unplanned, and yet not one of us has ever been on welfare.
It's also curious to me that it seems that so many American couples looking to adopt are going overseas to China and Russia to adopt. Why is that? Is it that there are not enough babies here to adopt? Certainly a couple who can afford to adopt can keep an adopted child off the welfare dole.
How about looking at this another way? How about making the assumption that a child is not just a sponge sucking the resources out of a community, but instead an investment in the future of a community. If we look at this from a strictly economic view, children born in 1988 are just now entering the age (assuming college, etc) of working and paying taxes. At a rate of 1.2 million babies aborted per year since 1973, we are missing 18,000,000 tax payers right now! That's a lot of dough!
Children born since 1993 - 2006 do need community resources, they are called teachers. But, since we're missing more than 14,000,000 students right now, we are missing jobs for 50,000 teachers.
I'm no economist, there are far more schooled and intelligent people than I. But just a little googling can refute that destroying human life, at any stage is a sound economic policy. Not to mention the moral implications. I believe there is room enough for all of us. I believe we are selling ourselves terribly short by killing off our future.
Here's an article from someone far more schooled than me, and he has documentation to back up his facts. Check it out, keep and open mind. Give life a chance, for all of our sakes.
http://www.americanthinker.com/2008/12/obamas_abortion_socialism.html
But I don't believe that the case is that every child from an unplanned pregnancy will end up on state welfare. Nearly the first child born to every extended member of my family that I know of were unplanned, and yet not one of us has ever been on welfare.
It's also curious to me that it seems that so many American couples looking to adopt are going overseas to China and Russia to adopt. Why is that? Is it that there are not enough babies here to adopt? Certainly a couple who can afford to adopt can keep an adopted child off the welfare dole.
How about looking at this another way? How about making the assumption that a child is not just a sponge sucking the resources out of a community, but instead an investment in the future of a community. If we look at this from a strictly economic view, children born in 1988 are just now entering the age (assuming college, etc) of working and paying taxes. At a rate of 1.2 million babies aborted per year since 1973, we are missing 18,000,000 tax payers right now! That's a lot of dough!
Children born since 1993 - 2006 do need community resources, they are called teachers. But, since we're missing more than 14,000,000 students right now, we are missing jobs for 50,000 teachers.
I'm no economist, there are far more schooled and intelligent people than I. But just a little googling can refute that destroying human life, at any stage is a sound economic policy. Not to mention the moral implications. I believe there is room enough for all of us. I believe we are selling ourselves terribly short by killing off our future.
Here's an article from someone far more schooled than me, and he has documentation to back up his facts. Check it out, keep and open mind. Give life a chance, for all of our sakes.
http://www.americanthinker.com/2008/12/obamas_abortion_socialism.html
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
I am the Grandmother of an aborted Baby
I started this blog in September 2011 shortly after my son confessed to me that his girlfriend aborted their baby back in 2009. He kept it from me all that time because he knew how badly it would hurt me and he wanted to protect me. I believe that he just couldn't stand the grief alone anymore, and so he finally told me. "It's really messed me up." I know son, I know how it can mess you up.
I cried, a lot. Not just for my Grandchild, but for my son and his (now ex) girlfriend. A life time of pain and regret will follow them, along with the wondering, what would he be like if he were here today.
I never felt anger at either of them, just absolute and profound sadness. I also felt responsibility that not speaking out more strongly to prevent this from happening to the next generation. And I feel regret that I was not given the opportunity to love and support both my son and his girlfriend, but I understand that. I did not give the opportunity to my parents either, more regret.
I read this blog this morning, it touched me. I really respect this woman Kelly Clinger and I think she is very brave. Now I see where she gets it from and I am inspired:
http://www.lifenews.com/2011/11/07/abortion-through-a-grandmothers-eyes-forgiveness-healing/
I cried, a lot. Not just for my Grandchild, but for my son and his (now ex) girlfriend. A life time of pain and regret will follow them, along with the wondering, what would he be like if he were here today.
I never felt anger at either of them, just absolute and profound sadness. I also felt responsibility that not speaking out more strongly to prevent this from happening to the next generation. And I feel regret that I was not given the opportunity to love and support both my son and his girlfriend, but I understand that. I did not give the opportunity to my parents either, more regret.
I read this blog this morning, it touched me. I really respect this woman Kelly Clinger and I think she is very brave. Now I see where she gets it from and I am inspired:
http://www.lifenews.com/2011/11/07/abortion-through-a-grandmothers-eyes-forgiveness-healing/
Saturday, November 5, 2011
The Way - Emilio Estevez, Martin Sheen
There are far better movie reviewers than I, so I will leave a full review of the movie to the experts at: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1441912/
What I want to write about is a single scene in the movie in which Sarah, the angry, cynical fellow pilgrim, confesses to Tom (Martin Sheen), the source of her angst.
The scene is set in which Tom drops something and when both he and Sarah reach for it, a tussle starts and Sarah hauls back and violently punches Tom. It was shocking and confusing.
But later Sarah explains she was in a bad marriage, with an abusive husband. She was pregnant with a baby girl, and she terminated so her husband wouldn't have two of them to beat up. "Sometimes I hear my baby cry, which is funny since she never got to take her first breath." The scene was heart wrenching.
But the most amazing thing was Tom's response: "I'm sorry about your baby." I was stunned! That is something that is just never ever said to a post abortive woman.
We don't normally get sympathy for our loss, because of our "choice". Many of us abort our children out of fear, ignorance of alternatives and yes, as in my case, complete selfishness. But what we don't get is much empathy for our regret. To me this is a scene I've longed to have play out in real life. Acknowledgement and sorrow of who was truly lost to me and maybe, just maybe if you can....a little empathy for my sorrow and regret.
The movie was great, and I highly recommend it. Beautiful scenery, complex relationships and pilgrims trying to find their way through a world that is difficult for most of us pilgrims.
What I want to write about is a single scene in the movie in which Sarah, the angry, cynical fellow pilgrim, confesses to Tom (Martin Sheen), the source of her angst.
The scene is set in which Tom drops something and when both he and Sarah reach for it, a tussle starts and Sarah hauls back and violently punches Tom. It was shocking and confusing.
But later Sarah explains she was in a bad marriage, with an abusive husband. She was pregnant with a baby girl, and she terminated so her husband wouldn't have two of them to beat up. "Sometimes I hear my baby cry, which is funny since she never got to take her first breath." The scene was heart wrenching.
But the most amazing thing was Tom's response: "I'm sorry about your baby." I was stunned! That is something that is just never ever said to a post abortive woman.
We don't normally get sympathy for our loss, because of our "choice". Many of us abort our children out of fear, ignorance of alternatives and yes, as in my case, complete selfishness. But what we don't get is much empathy for our regret. To me this is a scene I've longed to have play out in real life. Acknowledgement and sorrow of who was truly lost to me and maybe, just maybe if you can....a little empathy for my sorrow and regret.
The movie was great, and I highly recommend it. Beautiful scenery, complex relationships and pilgrims trying to find their way through a world that is difficult for most of us pilgrims.
Friday, November 4, 2011
All Souls
I believe that when we enter and leave the world, at that moment be must be as close to God as possible while we are here. I believe that because of my experience.
It is so easy for children to believe in God. I have heard young children make very profound statements of faith that have simply blown me away!
Something happens to us the longer we are here. Cynicism and worldly logic creeps in and slowly pulls us away from what we know to be true. I have seen this happen with my living children. Once believing and knowing God in their heart of hearts, now as young adults who have been bumped and bruised by the world, God seems like a far off fantasy, a distant childhood imaginary friend.
I feel like I have spent a significant portion of my adult life trying to find God for myself. The most obvious times when God was present, was when my children were in my womb. Unfortunately, I didn't know or recognize Him with the first one, and so I killed Him.
The Church calls them the Holy Innocents. They experience a violent death long before they have had a chance to enter the world and be pulled away from God. The world rejects them and sends them directly back to God, carrying a message to Him that we reject Him too.
I often wonder what heaven is like with all of those Holy Innocents there. There are no tears in heaven, maybe because it is filled with souls like these who are pure and fully aware of the presence of God. And since they never left His awareness, never really separated from Him, they must be very close to Him. I have been praying for my little ones lost, but maybe I should be asking them to pray for me...
Oh Holy Innocents, close to God, rejected by the world, pray for me and for all of us, they we may join you in purity of soul, heart and mind. Amen.
It is so easy for children to believe in God. I have heard young children make very profound statements of faith that have simply blown me away!
Something happens to us the longer we are here. Cynicism and worldly logic creeps in and slowly pulls us away from what we know to be true. I have seen this happen with my living children. Once believing and knowing God in their heart of hearts, now as young adults who have been bumped and bruised by the world, God seems like a far off fantasy, a distant childhood imaginary friend.
I feel like I have spent a significant portion of my adult life trying to find God for myself. The most obvious times when God was present, was when my children were in my womb. Unfortunately, I didn't know or recognize Him with the first one, and so I killed Him.
The Church calls them the Holy Innocents. They experience a violent death long before they have had a chance to enter the world and be pulled away from God. The world rejects them and sends them directly back to God, carrying a message to Him that we reject Him too.
I often wonder what heaven is like with all of those Holy Innocents there. There are no tears in heaven, maybe because it is filled with souls like these who are pure and fully aware of the presence of God. And since they never left His awareness, never really separated from Him, they must be very close to Him. I have been praying for my little ones lost, but maybe I should be asking them to pray for me...
Oh Holy Innocents, close to God, rejected by the world, pray for me and for all of us, they we may join you in purity of soul, heart and mind. Amen.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
JONAH ~ A Mother’s Story
I’ll never know for sure, but I always felt like the baby was a boy and I’ve named him Jonah. My baby had a soul and was a person so I will never refer to him as “it”. In this writing, I will refer to this baby as him, he or Jonah as he deserves to be remembered with dignity.
The Old Testament story of Jonah is an image of the God of second chances, mercy and forgiveness. It is also the story of a disobedient and reluctant prophet and I can really relate to that. And so the name of my baby, the one who never had a chance to hear God’s word on earth, but went directly back to heaven in the year 1984. In the 20th anniversary of Jonah’s death, I write a testimonial to the horror of abortion, the spiritual, and emotional pain that goes with it. This is an attempt to prevent any young girl from experiencing the same spiritual and emotional trauma.
I am as reluctant as Jonah. I don’t want to tell this story, but I have to. I fear the repercussions and the rejection from telling this story. But, more strongly I fear not telling the story. It occurred to me that each generation is duty bound to pass their experiences on to future generations, so they can learn from the stories and mistakes. So they can be warned and not repeat mistakes. Isn’t that what many of the Old Testament stories are about? And if the failings of the great Kings can be written down for future generations to learn from, then my story can too.
After many years of struggling with the political issue of abortion, I have come to the conclusion that this is not a political issue it is a spiritual one. I have decided to never become involved with the politics because as long as women choose to seek abortion, someone will be there to perform whether it is legally or illegally. So, the hearts of women must be changed and that is my mission. And so if you are reading this, please open your heart to me and I will pour mine out to you.
In 1984, I was seventeen years old. I was reckless, promiscuous, and self-destructive on almost every level. In the beginning of my senior year of high school I felt that I was pregnant. This is important for you to understand, because I didn’t miss a period, I’ve never really been very good at keeping track of them anyway. It is important for you to understand is that I felt the presence of another – immediately, so when you hear the lie that a fetus is just a mass of tissue, I can tell you from experience, I have been pregnant three times and every time I felt it before I knew it. I felt the soul of another person inside me.
I looked in the yellow pages, found an abortion clinic, had a pregnancy test, borrowed money and had the abortion. If that sounds mechanical, it is supposed to because that is exactly how much thought I gave to this.
The spiritual crisis had started before the abortion, because I felt Jonah’s soul inside me and I ignored him. I knew he was there and I refused to acknowledge him. It would begin to haunt me during the abortion and then for the next 20 years.
Let me tell you what I remember about the abortion. First, being only 17, I lied about my age, name, address – everything. No one talked to me about anything; I didn’t seek any information either. I just wanted the pregnancy to be over quickly. But, I don’t remember seeing anything in the abortion clinic about being pregnant, and what that meant exactly. I mean what does a fetus look like at each period of gestation, what is formed. There was certainly no information about a crisis pregnancy and what options there were.
During the abortion itself, I cried out as soon as I felt Jonah’s body being ripped out from mine. I felt him leave me and I remember that very clearly. I was lying there and the abortionist was sucking out my womb and he said, “Stop crying! It’s too late now.” It was an order and a lament. How many times had this man heard a woman cry out as he tore her baby from her womb? How difficult it must have been for him to sleep at night. I wonder if the cries of women haunt him. That is all this man ever said to me through out the entire abortion. After the abortion I lied down on a cot that was similar to the one in the school nurses office. In a little while the nurse gave me antibiotics and I drove myself home.
Then I slowly suffered in silence.
Let me tell you about how aborting Jonah affected my early marriage and childbirth. My husband and I were married in May and I found out I was pregnant in July. What should have been a very happy announcement, I was told by the nurse in the military hospital in this fashion: “You are pregnant and if you want to take care of it you’ll have to do it off base.” My heart sunk as she presented me with a very unwanted and unwelcome option. There was no way that I was going to end this life inside me and how dare she even suggest it! I was angry when I should have been elated.
In March, my beautiful and I really mean stunningly beautiful baby boy was born. Absolutely perfect, absolutely wonderful in every way. I remember when I saw him the very first time; I was convinced without a doubt that there is a God. As I looked at this beautiful child I was profoundly grateful for a second chance and at the same time profoundly distressed about aborting Jonah.
I went to the nearest Catholic Church and found a Sister of what order I do not know. I cried and I confessed and I begged for forgiveness. The Sister said to me, “God has already forgiven you, what right have you to not forgive yourself?” Good question, Sister, twenty years later still unanswered.
Sixteen months after my son, I gave birth to my daughter and this would be the last time that I would carry another human soul in my womb. I love my children, all three of them. I desperately miss one of them. After carrying a child and seeing what they become – the reality of a past abortion is unbearable. I have to live everyday with the knowledge that I ended Jonah’s life. Think about that. A mother’s nature is to protect her children and yet, I ended my child’s life! Do not believe the lie that abortion is the easy way out of a crisis pregnancy.
Today is the worst of it, because today I have to confess what I did twenty years ago to my two living children. I’m scared of how this will affect them. I’m scared of how this will affect our relationship. Will they look at me differently from now on?
**********************************************************************************
Postscript: I wrote this testimony in 2004. As an update, I participated in a Rachel's Vineyard Retreat. http://www.rachelsvineyard.org/
I shouldn't have waited 20 years to do that, during the retreat, I was finally able to forgive and make peace with myself. The pain and regret never do go away, but there is peace in forgiveness. Also, please note that I wrote this seven years ago, and it has taken me this long to work up the courage to begin to speak up about my experience. This is difficult, painful and I'm still afraid. I have also changed my political leanings on this issue. I vote Pro-Life. I write my elected officials. I do still hold the belief though, that only when hearts and minds are changed, will the horror of abortion be eradicated.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
What it's like "in there"
In speaking with my daughter today, she encouraged me that my story, specifically the lack of care and concern by the medical staff, that I received during my abortion, was what changed her mind definitively.
Good. So here’s that part of my story.
I suspected I was pregnant. I can’t say that I skipped a period, as I didn’t keep track of them that well. I pulled out the yellow pages (it was 1984) looked under “abortion” and went for a “free” pregnancy test. (44-year-old brain translates “loss leader” 17-year -old brain didn’t quite think that way.)
The test was positive, and cash was needed.
I borrowed the cash and went back a week later, on a Saturday. My parents were out of town. I drove myself to the clinic, used a fake name, lied about my age. I didn’t know the laws, but I didn’t want any trouble. I was thankful – no questions were asked. No ID needed, no medical history provided.
In the procedure room, I was not scared; this was just like having a wart removed to me. No big deal.
I only have one memory of the “procedure”, at some point during the suction, I actually felt the life leave my body, and I became aware of what I had done. I cried out. The doctor said, “Quit crying! It’s too late now.” So I did, I quit crying. This was my “choice” what right did I have to cry?
I went into a recovery room that was like a school nurse’s office. I was treated as if I had just given blood.
I was given some medication and sent on my way. As I had said earlier, I had driven myself. No one asked me if there was anyone to pick me up, there was no concern as to how or if I would get home safely.
I had no follow up appointment.
At 17 not having any idea of healthcare expectations, and feeling as if I deserved what I got, I never questioned this level of care.
I have some questions now:
- Are abortionists held to even at least the same standard of care as – say orthopedic surgeons? If not, why not?
- Why is this a cash business?
- Are women not afforded any kind of after treatment for at physical if not emotional wounds?
- Why was no age verification done? Why was no one concerned about how I got there and how I would get home?
- Of course, my parents were not informed, and as such were not afforded the opportunity to support or guide me. My pregnancy was a result of recreational sex, not rape or incest. In retrospect, a little guidance here was in order.
- Why are some people so adamant about supporting this travesty that they are willing to hide the facts from vulnerable women? Why can’t we see an ultrasound? Know what the fetus looks like at the point of development?
So that is the clinical side of my story. With one final note, 27 years later, I’m still crying in private. It was my “choice” after all.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Friday, September 30, 2011
Words Matter: I’m not anti-choice!
I remember the first time I heard the term “anti-choice”. I was in college around 2000 and my art history teacher used it. I wanted to walk out but I just sat there and fumed. When did it change? The two camps had always been Pro-Choice and Pro-Life. I wasn’t in the Pro-Life camp as of yet. I certainly wasn’t in the other camp either, based on my traumatic abortion experience.
When of this term “anti-choice”, it is very powerful, because it gives the message that these people want to oppress our liberties. It’s un-American. I think, that doesn’t really define me. I am American, I believe in self-determination, I like choices, lots of choices! But, when the choice is to take another human beings life, that’s just not mine, or your choice to make.
Am I Pro-Life? Yep, I think that does define me. Life should be protected at every stage. The weakest among us especially, should be carefully guarded.
Am I Pro-Choice? Not of course in the way our culture understands it, but yes, I believe that we should have choices, just not choices over other human beings lives. In a future post, I will explore the contradictions of the "Pro-Choice" camps, I think they give just enough information so that women make the choice to abort.
Some of the other terms used in reference to whether you think abortion is ok or not: anti-life, pro-abort, etc. I used to think, how could anyone be pro-abort? Isn’t it supposed to be safe, legal and rare? Well, it’s big business. At an average of $450.00 a hit, at 1.2 million a year, you can see that the dollars add up very quickly. Money talks, babies die, and mothers are wounded for the rest of their life.
I just read an article about the creator of Grey’s Anatomy recent episode where a character had an abortion. The creator of Grey’s Anatomy sits on the board of Planned Parenthood, the nations largest abortion provider. Clever little commercial. By the way, it’s interesting to note that Greys Anatomy and Planned Parenthood have the same demographic – young women under the age of 30. It’s big business, make no mistake.
Words matter, they draw images in our mind and bring us to conclusions regarding liberty, fairness and patriotism. So when you call me anti-choice, let me just say that is not a fair assessment of who I am.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Choice
Don’t talk to me about choice
You have nothing to say to me about choice
Until YOU have had a baby’s life ripped from your womb
You with your mantra – “my body, my choice”
Then why? Why aren’t more women standing up and saying it?
“I had an abortion and I’m glad of it!”
You don’t hear it because it doesn’t happen
We kill our babies because of your lies
And then are left in the shadows of shame and silence
Afraid and alone
Unable to speak of the horror
Of our choice
To hire an assassin
To kill our own child
“Stop crying, it’s too late now.”
An order! A lament…
How many mothers’ tears haunt you in your sleep?
How many mothers’ cries wake you up at night in a cold, hard sweat?
So don’t you dare talk to ME about choice
You don’t know shit about choice
You claim “my body, my choice”
And in your words
is the blood of my child
Of my grandchild
And of millions of others
You claim that you stand for women
Then why? Why are we crying in the shadows?
Why are we alone, afraid and ashamed?
Where are you after the killing is over?
My body, my choice
Then who? Who will cry for our babies?
Just me, alone, anonymous, ashamed but not silent.
You have nothing to say to me about choice
Until YOU have had a baby’s life ripped from your womb
You with your mantra – “my body, my choice”
Then why? Why aren’t more women standing up and saying it?
“I had an abortion and I’m glad of it!”
You don’t hear it because it doesn’t happen
We kill our babies because of your lies
And then are left in the shadows of shame and silence
Afraid and alone
Unable to speak of the horror
Of our choice
To hire an assassin
To kill our own child
“Stop crying, it’s too late now.”
An order! A lament…
How many mothers’ tears haunt you in your sleep?
How many mothers’ cries wake you up at night in a cold, hard sweat?
So don’t you dare talk to ME about choice
You don’t know shit about choice
You claim “my body, my choice”
And in your words
is the blood of my child
Of my grandchild
And of millions of others
You claim that you stand for women
Then why? Why are we crying in the shadows?
Why are we alone, afraid and ashamed?
Where are you after the killing is over?
My body, my choice
Then who? Who will cry for our babies?
Just me, alone, anonymous, ashamed but not silent.
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