In speaking with my daughter today, she encouraged me that my story, specifically the lack of care and concern by the medical staff, that I received during my abortion, was what changed her mind definitively.
Good. So here’s that part of my story.
I suspected I was pregnant. I can’t say that I skipped a period, as I didn’t keep track of them that well. I pulled out the yellow pages (it was 1984) looked under “abortion” and went for a “free” pregnancy test. (44-year-old brain translates “loss leader” 17-year -old brain didn’t quite think that way.)
The test was positive, and cash was needed.
I borrowed the cash and went back a week later, on a Saturday. My parents were out of town. I drove myself to the clinic, used a fake name, lied about my age. I didn’t know the laws, but I didn’t want any trouble. I was thankful – no questions were asked. No ID needed, no medical history provided.
In the procedure room, I was not scared; this was just like having a wart removed to me. No big deal.
I only have one memory of the “procedure”, at some point during the suction, I actually felt the life leave my body, and I became aware of what I had done. I cried out. The doctor said, “Quit crying! It’s too late now.” So I did, I quit crying. This was my “choice” what right did I have to cry?
I went into a recovery room that was like a school nurse’s office. I was treated as if I had just given blood.
I was given some medication and sent on my way. As I had said earlier, I had driven myself. No one asked me if there was anyone to pick me up, there was no concern as to how or if I would get home safely.
I had no follow up appointment.
At 17 not having any idea of healthcare expectations, and feeling as if I deserved what I got, I never questioned this level of care.
I have some questions now:
- Are abortionists held to even at least the same standard of care as – say orthopedic surgeons? If not, why not?
- Why is this a cash business?
- Are women not afforded any kind of after treatment for at physical if not emotional wounds?
- Why was no age verification done? Why was no one concerned about how I got there and how I would get home?
- Of course, my parents were not informed, and as such were not afforded the opportunity to support or guide me. My pregnancy was a result of recreational sex, not rape or incest. In retrospect, a little guidance here was in order.
- Why are some people so adamant about supporting this travesty that they are willing to hide the facts from vulnerable women? Why can’t we see an ultrasound? Know what the fetus looks like at the point of development?
So that is the clinical side of my story. With one final note, 27 years later, I’m still crying in private. It was my “choice” after all.
